Will Unschooling Leave My Kids Unprepared For The Adult World?

Will Unschooling leave my kids unprepared for the adult world?

This is a question or fear that weighs on the minds of parents that are considering unschooling or are even possibly already involved in living an unschooled life.Parents always want the best for their kids. They want the most for their kids and the thought that our choices will cause detriment to their futures can be a heavy burden to carry.

But this is a question that I have also heard from parents sending their kids to school! Will sending my children to school in this fast changing world leave them unprepared for the adulthood?

So in this episode I tackle this question from the perspective of~ What do our children really need in order to be prepared for adulthood? If they are to be successful in their careers, in the job world and as human beings, what is required?

What Do They Need To Be Prepared For Adulthood?

When I define the term “unschooling” or answer questions about it, I usually base it on definitions around how it applies to learning within a framework of school defined learning and work produced from it. A definition I usually refer to is that unschooling is the learner choosing the how, what, where and when of their own learning. And the why is their own.

But this definition misses a big part of what unschooling is based on. (And the detailed, more involved explanation)

Unschooling is so much more than how it can be or cannot be like school style learning. Unschooling is based on a foundation of trust and safety. It is based on supporting and helping to build the capacity to work on some of our most complex problems~Relationships. Relationships with others and with ourselves.

Unschooling is creating an environment where the learner feels part of a positive relationship where they feel safe to explore, be curious, ask questions, try new things, make mistakes, backtrack and pivot. It is working within a framework that allows space and time to practice competence in something that is meaningful to the learning, even if that thing may not be as meaningful to the parent.

As I was reading about the skills, knowledge and competencies that our world requires and will continue to require I see a common thread.

The work force, employers and industry are seeing a lack of skills from young people. These skills are not math facts or essay writing. They are not dates in history or or other hard knowledge.

They are what many term the ‘soft” skills that are not as easily quantifiable for data like grades and scores can be.

Skills and Social Emotional Learning

79% of employers say social-emotional skills are the most important qualities for job success.

Employers are citing skills such as adaptability, collaboration, independence, life skills and self regulation as needed.

And it’s not just employers that require these skills for the job. These social-emotional skills are important to just begin navigating the job market and prepare for work that did not exist even a few years ago!

Here is an enlightening conclusion to another study:

There was a mismatch between the education sector’s perception of skills demand and that of the work sector. What does that mean?

“While the education sector believes that it prepares students well for the labor market by focusing on basic cognitive and technical skills development, the study find that employers have a different view of the most important skills for labor market success and where the principle gaps are.”

What Can We Do As Unschoolers And Self Directed Learners?

I know our concern can be focused on our children missing out if we don’t get them to memorize their multiplication tables by a certain age or have every sign of the periodic table under their belt. Or be able to blast off an essay on the merits of – you fill in the blanks-.

But a lot of what we can do to help them be prepared for the adult world is love them for who they are. Not what they are producing. The measure of your parent worth is not on your children’s grades or the awards that they receive.

Support your kids in experiencing life and demonstrating compassion.
Be part of community. Allow them to volunteer, work and gain a wider perspective of the world.
Build your positive relationships
Engage in not just discussion but also active listening with your kids
Listen to who they are and what they represent. What are they proud of? What are some things that they love about themselves?
Share in the joys of others
Have conversations about key social situations. In what ways can they ask for help? Or show gratitude?
Help connect our older children with mentors, professionals or organizations
Create a soft framework or rhythms in your home. Rhythms that create connection and allow our kids to feel capable on their own.
Let our children know that what they do and say is valuable